“I’m not jealous. I’m just very unhappy that good things are happening for him and not happening for me.”[...]

“Aww, it’s so cute when you use the word cool wrong. Like when kids say ‘pasghetti.’”[...]

“Firefly did a movie to wrap things up. Buffy The Vampire Slayer continued on as a comic book. Heroes gradually lowered the quality season by season so we were grateful it en[...]

“She’s put up more walls than a North Korean chain gang.” “I am this close to losing every last piece of my shit.”[...]

“What if I don’t want to change?”[...]

“With this ring, I thee wed this handsome motherf**ker.”[...]

“Honestly, if I must endure a long and tedious evening, I’d rather be with you on date night.” “I believe ‘screwed, I’m going in’ is what I said to yo[...]